Светлина!

There is light at the end of the tunnel...at least for Ducky Dwight. It all began as a blind date (actually before the blind date on the phone). He finally found a girl that he's interested in just in time for Valentine's Day. We'll see what happens with it. Prediction: Брак

Ducky Dick learned some valuable dating lessons as of late. His love for bodies has toned down a lil and is trying to decide whether or not to go to Alaska to play with Polar Bears on buses. He's also trying to decide what he wants to be when he grows up.

Ducky Scott got into the Mechanical Engineering program so he's super stoked about that. He also is trying to figure out his summer plans. He's thinking he might play with satellites again or maybe try to play with alarms.

Ducky Alabaster is running here and there like a head with a chicken cut off. He's waiting to here back from the accounting program. His sister is about to get married as is his cousin and he doesn't have any girls on the docket. (Loser! haha)

Well that sums up the dampcajs.

I Kan Spelle!!!

I'm getting sick of it. English... honestly... people... it's the official (well technically not) language of our country, do you honestly think that you can learn to spell it? There have been way too many numerous occasions over these past few weeks which have led me to believe we are more uneducated a ten year old gypsy. The prime example I would like to use has been the liberal term of the word, "lose."

Go read someone's facebook post after a big game. If they lost, more than likely they have said something about "loosing." I couldn't tell you what 'loosing' is, unless you are talking about the noose that is tied around your neck. Or perhaps it is a term for a girl that happens to get around. But in either case, it has absolutely nothing to do with 'losing.' Losing implies scoring less points than the other team, not scoring more STD's from another man. Get the picture? It's one less "o," that's it, yet I have seen multiple facebook posts that tell me otherwise. You've known how to spell it since second grade. Please, for the love of all nooses everyone, just spell it right.

The next word is one that unless you are extremely careful you might get it wrong. Actually, no, you should never get it wrong, it's just that some dimwits just don't think before they type. We had an encounter where a young man didn't exactly enjoy the practical joke that we were playing on him, and he barbarically referred to one of us as a "bum body." I ask you our dear readers, what on Earth is a 'bum body'? If we are referring to a rather slim individual, covered in grime with a long beard, then yes we are probably talking about a bum body. The last time I checked, no one's body looks like a bum, unless you are talking about Anthony Jones, whose bum chin may perhaps be larger than my backside (besides his glass cutters, but that's a topic for another day), which is saying something. Regardless, if you are trying to put someone down, please have the brains to not refer to them as an entire body. I would hate to see what other bold comebacks this individual can possibly come up with in the heat of battle.

So there you are, in the Facebook chat room, talking with that incredibly cute girl that you have always wanted to ask out. You, being the sly fox whom you are, decide to pay this princess a compliment, to have her heart melt in your hands like butter. You think of the perfect line, and you wait patiently for the moment of execution, and then it comes. Your palms sweat as you press the keys, but there it is, the perfect sweet nothing. You push the enter key and it shows up on the screen, "Your the most amazing creature God has graced this planet with." Your stomach is in knots awaiting a reply, and the worst of all endings occurs. She logs out, leaving you with a gray box and no response. Why? Your grammar you dolt! That's why! Your is referring to something you possess, not something that you are. You're is the word you should of used, and now you are hopelessly done for. You're lost, you're done, you're an idiot, you're desperate. Your feelings have been hurt. Your attempts were futile. Looks like your mom will have to be your date once again. Get it? Got it? Good.

And finally, the misspelling of the word "dominant" is a rather large pet peeve of mine. I have seen it numerous times. "Man, that Chicago D-Line is so dominate!" Using a verb to describe a thing, what has America come to these days? You are not a "dominate" individual, "dominate" is the word we use when we talk about what them folk from Alabama do to their livestock. Remember, adjectives describe the nouns wherewith they are attached, not verbs. If we keep that rule, we will all sound a lot smarter.

All we ask is that we, as individuals of this wonderful, tolerant country, simply take some time and learn to spell English words properly. It will make me happy, it will make others happy, and it will especially make you happy when people don't think you are making creepy advances toward them, when all you wanted to do was joke around. So for the love of all those incredible English majors out there (what do you do with your lives anyway?), please, save the children and learn to spell. You'll thank me later.

Finals...Over!

This week was full of finals and we are all glad they are over. We all did pretty well for the most part. A new semester and a new year are not far away. We are all excited for new adventures and new classes. Hopefully this year will bring great things. We'll take a look back at 2010 soon.

It's definitely the holiday season, although no one asked for this rain. Dick must have spent a long time praying for a birthday gift from mother nature. I'd venture to say that he got what he wanted. The apartment is clean (finally), it's quiet, and there is a lot of hustle and bustle everywhere. We tried to do an apt. gift exchange before we all parted...we weren't totally successful so we'll finish that after christmas. Dwight and myself (Alabaster) have to work all week so we will enjoy our time at the apt together. I got some ducky deserts from my mommy as part of the 12 days of Christmas she does for me so that will be fun.

Merry Christmas!!!

Well Cole has been a good boy

Little Scottie has been too,

But if you see Jace and Allen,

You better watch out for those two.

Anatomy’s been killer,

Accounting has really blown,

Math gives us a headache,

And Physics made us groan

But what we like the most

Of this we are very fond

Is feeding our little duckies

Over in their little duck pond.

During this Christmas season

Go and let your light so shine,

Because just maybe then

Jace will ask out Rachel Kiene.

Cole fell in love with bodies,

Marriage to Purvis was proposed,

Scott got a little action,

And Jace really got hosed (6 times).

If you’re down, we hope you can remember

We all wish you the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!

Lame Lamentations on Members of the Opposite Gender

So you know the saying, "3rd time's the charm?" Well I've got news for you all... it's crap. Complete and utter crap. Watching two elephants mate in the wild is about as charming, and far more entertaining. This weekend would mark the third, yes count them... one... two... three... third time I have organized a group date, yet not participated on that date myself in the past 8 months. Maybe I should just be like Hitch when I grow up? That would make life a lot easier, looking out for other's well-being rather than my own. That's Christ-like, right? You think a man could catch a break... for once... in his life... after all the things... he's ever done.... and all the times... he's never won. I also struck out 0-3 this week on getting a girl on said date... sometimes I think my life truly is depressing. So what is my problem then?

To be honest with you, I don't know. I'm smart, I'm tall, I'm decently attractive (one would like to think), I have a good head on my shoulders, I am motivated, I care for others, I try to be as nice as possible to everyone, I'm spiritual, I love life, I'm funny, and I want to be the best person that I can. I guess all that's left... I must lower my standards. I must devalue my values. I must become... a tool.

Don't know what a tool is? Males... look at yourself in the mirror. You are more than likely a tool. Don't believe me? See if you can get past this checklist. Do you consistently wear V-neck sweaters? If so, then yes, you are a tool. Are you God's gift to the world? If so... tool may be your middle name. Does your shirt cost more than my entire outfit, quite possibly my car? Then perhaps, you may be a tool. Have you faked your smile at 56 girls in the past hour? Isyour definition of a job picking up on girls? Does the world owe you something? Could you charm the clothes off of a barbie doll? If you answered yes to one, or all of the above, welcome to to Tool Time... please enjoy your stay.

To elaborate, I will describe our adventures of this past weekend. Friday night was a perfect example. We happened upon a party wherein there was a plethora of young people. Thinking there was a possibility of meeting a person of class and substance there, we meandered on in, only to find our intentions ill-fated thirty seconds upon walking inside. I thought we may have literally walked into Home Depot, because there were more tools than Tim the Tool-man Taylor knew what to do with. It sickened me... every single of them was more fake than Michael Jackson's nose. What happened to being real? What happened to being a normal person? Throughout the course of the entire night, I did not meet a single person, man nor woman, that was genuine and normal. So I guess I'm the problem... and I guess I need to stoop down to their level. Tool status, here I come.

What do I want to be? A hammer... or a screwdriver? Both have their pros and cons if you think about it... but seriously... it seems like I honestly have to become something I'm not... in order to get what I want. Life shouldn't be like that, but it is. Why should I compromise my standards and beliefs? Yet I must... because obviously that's the only thing that works. And why is it that way...? Because the women of the world have been lead to believe it.

Ladies, herein lies your problem... You only like the tools. A young woman that I recently had a conversation with admitted to that very fact. Why? Because you think you are entitled. You think that you deserve the best... well guess what... you don't. None of us do, because none of us has done anything to merit the best rewards. No one is entitled to anything, yet you all think that you are entitled to everything. Why? Because you are pretty? Because daddy gave you money? Because socially you are better than others? Face the facts, you are not everything your $50,000 BMW makes you out to be. Want to earn respect? Go be a real person... live the gospel... help other people... genuinely care for others well-being more than your own... actually be a person of your word... and oh yeah... get rid of the tools. You don't need a new power drill... you have a perfectly good screwdriver right over here... you just haven't realized it yet.

Добре Дошли!!!

I would like to be the first to welcome you to our blog. This is and will be the most entertaining blog you have ever read! As an introduction, my name is Scott DuBois and I have three roommates, well five roommates, but I will save the other two for later, Allen, Cole and Jace. Together our initials make up the acronym D.A.M.P. C.A.J.S and is pronounced \ˈdamp ˈkājiz\ or damp cages.We are four single guys that decided that our stories, adventures, and frustrations are too good to be shared only between us. We live in Provo, Utah in an apartment complex that will be referred to as Slave Henry. This is for several reasons, mainly I think it's a more appropriate name, and I don't want to infringe on any copyright laws. But enough about Slave Henry, I know I already stated that we are all single, but that is why we have so much fun together. Don't get me wrong, we like girls and go on dates, or at least we try to go on dates with them, but when plans fall through you can't expect us to just sit at home. I can't complain though, kicking it with the boys is cheaper and a lot more fun than any date I have been on this sememster.